The Politics of Poly Love

by James Heddle

Our species must learn to share and co-operate or it will not survive. The refusal to participate in the debilitating drama of the dominator marriage model is an act of political courage, a 'civil disobedience'.

The various forms of responsible non-monogamy from latex swinging through open marriage to polyfidelity are generally viewed by proponents and critics alike as aberrations from the cultural norm. From an evolutionary viewpoint, however, they collectively represent what might be called a 'waxing norm', some day to eclipse the 'waning norm' of serial monogamy and the fissioned nuclear family.
The discovery, invention and creation of workable, responsible social geometries challenges the waning norm of the possessive/ dominator marriage model.
In that sense, responsible non-monogamy is a subversive activity. Polyfidelity is a political act.
The drive to eliminate possessiveness, jealousy, guilt, manipulation, dishonesty, psychological and/or physical abuse, double standards and co-dependency from the institution of marriage is inextricably linked to the drives to eliminate injustice, exploitation, corruption, pollution and depletion from our social, economic, political, educational, industrial and agricultural institutions.
Like it or not, co-operate with it or resist it, a new culture is a-borning based on biospheric ethic of co-operation, non-violence and transgenerational responsibility. This phenomenon is a survival response of human body politic to global evolutionary demands. The evolutionary bottom line is this: Our species must learn to share and co-operate - person to person, culture to culture, nation to nation, species to biosphere - or it will not survive.
The refusal to participate in the debilitating drama of the dominator marriage model is an act of political courage, a 'civil disobedience', an awakening from the cultural thrall. Living alternative forms of responsible, mutually nurturing relationship is a creative act, liberating for oneself and others and an affirmation of evolutionary intention.